Pregnant stripper...not hot.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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