I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
