What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
