i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
