plz talk dirty to me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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