TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
