dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
