The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
