So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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