dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
