Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
