Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
