I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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