got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
