drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
