it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
