I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
