i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
