Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
