Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
