so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got inside last night via doggy door
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
