dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
