I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
