You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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