I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I cockslap morals
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Bring me that man meat
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Shame - the story of my life.
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