There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
