is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I want a musical about memes.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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