Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
