whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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