I will die if light touches me.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You left your phone here
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