I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
