What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
