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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order

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• (559): View more from California

  She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.

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• (212): View more from New York

  It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town

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