You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
