I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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