White coat. Heels.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
