my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
