i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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