Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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