There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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