Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
