Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
