talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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