I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
