Already got asked if we're dating
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
