I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
