Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
