i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
