your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
