hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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